Well, miss Bellea has just recently turned 10 months and I had the realization I’m coming up on my last two months of breastfeeding before I try to start weaning her from breast milk.

I was overcome with many emotions after this realization. So many things will change. There will be no more need for breast pads or the occasional forgotten breast pad that leads to milk leaking through my shirt for everyone to see. No more watching what I eat or drink, or how much soda I can intake. No more nursing bras and tops or covers. No more pumping every night before bed to have bottles in case. (that one I really won’t miss) no more engorged breasts plugged milk ducts or mastitis.

I got really excited at first realizing I would only have a few more months of this. Then I realized what all I would lose. No more early morning breastfeeding when we are both half asleep and I get to feel her warm breath on me. No more of her falling asleep against my skin and nuzzling closer when I tried to move away. No more silly milk drink baby with it running down her face in excitement. I am losing a bond only I can ever have with my baby girl. A type of bond I won’t have again until I have another baby. And even then it will be different I’m sure.

I realized I would go through all of the ‘not so good’ parts of breastfeeding again and again just to have my baby girl that close to me and to be able to provide her the nutrients only I can.

So In these last few months of breastfeeding, I plan to soak in every second of it. Endure her pulling away and getting milk everywhere only to cry a few seconds later that she isn’t eating. I’m going to let her fall asleep while eating and stay there a little longer before replacing my body with a pacifier. I want to live in these moments while I can. So moms, when you sweet babies are there wanting to eat for the fifth time in the hour or your breast, are so sore you wonder what you do this for, just remember one day you won’t get to anymore. So let’s all try to enjoy these moments while they last and give our babies what they need. The love, the bonding, the nutrients.

After all, they are only little for a little while.